Seven Days

Grade 12. Easy to say, not so easily done. No one is happy. I have heard Grade 12 referred to as "the greatest year of your high school experience!" this, my friend, is BULL SHIT. Maybe it wasn't for you, maybe you had a hell of a time getting wasted and smoking up your house and you were just careless. For me and most of my friends, this year has already been a waste of time. Personally, I have never liked school. Sure, I have had my fun with band and going on trips and meeting some good people and sometimes learning something useful (which is rare). I have been in school for practically 14yrs of my 18yr life. That's weird to think. School is so fucked up. I feel like a loony in a loony bin when I am there. I feel like cattle. Sure, I am extremely nervous about getting out into the real world and shit, but I am just so SICK AND TIRED of this shit. And I am not the only one who feels like this. Most of my friends are going through this too. All of us are having emotional break downs, I know I did. (Oh, about that, I am feeling better now, not having as many moments. I still find it hard to make it through the day at school and therefore I am allowed to come later.) People are on anti-depressants, people are getting help, people don't know HOW to slow the hell down. Jesus! People think they always have to be busy and crazy doing stuff, that's not the case. You're ALLOWED to relax! I have just begun to learn that, and not in a lazy way, but because my mind and my body were going different directions and I was forced to not think as much and take some time. Take this example: I have not hung out with my friends, in a group, for...well at least since the summer. And so I was throwing out the idea of an xmas party, not too much to ask I don't think. Well some people just don't know when to stop and put school infront of everything, and if they're not at school, they're with their boyfriend. I mean, if I had a boyfriend, I may be like that too...but...all I wanted was to have a good time with all my friends FOR ONCE. I am scared that once the end of the year rolls around, everyone will be all "I'm too busy to go to an end of the year party" or "i'm already going to another awesome party and you're not invited". I don't think people understand that after this year, I might never see some of them again. Once this school year is complete, I AM OUTTA HERE! Lastnight I was thinking extremely depressing thoughts of not seeing these people's faces anymore. It just made me so sad.

Shit, I'm out.